No disrespect to tea ladies, but have you been mistaken for one? Our brains can be very quick to judge and form impressions. When you go into a meeting or interview, how conscious are you of being wrongly judged or of being too quick to judge others?

Search online for ‘mistaken for the tea lady’. First of all AI will tell you that: “The phrase “mistaken for the tea lady” refers to a situation where someone, often a woman in a position of authority, is perceived as a lower-level employee, like a tea lady, due to their appearance or actions, highlighting a gender bias or lack of recognition”. Then you’ll see examples of this happening:

Sue Noffke – leading female fund manager, ‘I was mistaken for a tea lady’

Professor Dame Kay Davies – often the only woman in a room of dark-suited men and occasionally mistaken for a tea lady

Princess Beatrice – mistaken for the tea girl when starting work for software company in New York

During my year as CIHT President I’ve been wearing a t-shirt and jeans to help shine a light on how we are characterised affecting how we are judged. I recall at the start of my year someone admitting that they thought I was the ‘roof guy’ handyman because of how I was dressed. I’ve noted how I can become invisible in networking settings among people who don’t know me.

I remember hearing the story of the orchestra that struggled with gender bias. Why weren’t more women making it through? The solution was to audition people behind a black screen so it was only their musical talent being judged. The problem persisted. Turned out the panelists were affected too by the noise made by the candidates’ shoes as they walked across ready to be auditioned.

I had the privilege of catching up with Sarah Sharples FREng at the Interchange Conference last week. After I’d been on stage in my t-shirt we spoke about appeareances. Sarah said she was happy for me to relay this here. She said that it simply wouldn’t work for her to opt for wearing a t-shirt into a meeting, even if she wanted to. In spite of her accomplishments and seniority, she knows she can start in a meeting on the back foot. Conscious or unconscious bias is working against her because she’s a woman. There’s a sense of needing to manage her appearance to avoid that compounding the bias already there to be overcome.

I suspect all of us could work harder at avoiding ill-informed first impressions getting in the way of really understanding what the people around us have to offer.

And if we did work harder we might hopefully find that we get the best from people’s authentic selves and all flourish as a result.

There is now concern in some quarters (seemingly from those who have historically benefitted from bias) that preferential treatment is being given to those who have been disadvantaged by bias. Such positive discrimination is illegal in the UK. So don’t feel threatened by woke – it’s only a level playing field being asked for!

h/t Adam Hill for inspiring this post.